Teach the Difference Between a Want and a Need

The society we live in today has made the difference between wants and needs very blurry.  Everywhere we go today we are bombarded with advertising and messages about products that we should purchase to improve our lives.  Does it really improve our lives?  It can be very confusing for adults so imagine what it is like for a child. Use the words wants and needs in everyday conversation so they gain an understanding of the difference.  No one likes to be around the kid that “wants” everything and “gets” everything.  That is not realistic in life.

Mary Bartusek, Parent Educator

Instead of "I'm So Proud", Say "You Can Be So Proud"

Our children can make us feel very proud when they accomplish a new task.  It is reason to compliment and acknowledge.  It is important to not use “I’m so proud” all the time.  Eventually when a child hears that message over and over they come to the understanding that I have to be judged and acknowledged by others.  Others decide how I do.  You want to teach your child to internalize their sense of accomplishments.  Saying, “You should be proud of yourself, you can write your name!” focuses back on the child not on pleasing you.  

Mary Bartusek, Parent Educator

Winnable Wars are Won by Choices Not Demands

Demanding that your child do something does not work very well.  If your child follows through with the demand they usually feel resentful and powerless.  Is that how you want your child to feel?  Offering a choice to your child sends the message that you respect them, love them, and believe in them that they can decide on their own.  It makes your child feel important and competent.  That is the message we want to send!

Mary Bartusek, Parent Educator