Mistakes and Disappointments are the Big Teachable Moments

How do people learn?  Do we learn by being told or do we learn by doing?  We learn by doing, making our own decisions and living with the consequences of our own decisions.  Sometimes our decisions are good ones and sometimes they are not so good but that is how we know what to do the next time.  We don’t want to “set up” our child for mistakes and disappointments but we can not protect them and shelter them either.  Life is full of teachable moments.  Many of our teachable moments are mistakes and disappointments.

 

Mary Bartusek, Parent Educator

A New Music Video!!

I haven't posted a new video for a Music Monday for a long time! I guess I got a little bit lazy. But here is a new one! It is The Freeze, a song by Greg and Steve, that we love to dance to. Grab a ribbon or a scarve and get ready to do some dancing!!

Have a great week!
Miss Britt

Where Did We Ever Get the Crazy Idea.....

WHERE DID WE EVER GET THE CRAZY IDEA THAT IN ORDER FOR CHILDREN TO DO BETTER, WE MUST MAKE THEM FEEL BAD?

Imagine if your boss wanted you to get better at your job.  What would make you improve your skills?  Think about that.  If you had a boss who made you feel bad on a daily basis, you might shut down, start looking for a new job, have no respect for your boss and lose confidence in your self.  We don’t need to make kids feel terrible about themselves.  Choices and consequences that the child goes through are much more powerful.  Children learn from their mistakes.  We don’t need to point them out and exaggerate them to make the child feel worse.  Feeling terrible does not equate to doing better. 

 

Mary Bartusek, Parent Educator

When Kids Emotions are High, That's When They Need You the Most

When children are angry, sad, frustrated or embarrassed lots of times parents will brush off the child’s feelings and emotions.  “Oh you don’t have to get so upset.”  “Your fine.”  “What’s the big deal?”  “Get over it.”  Sometimes we get impatient and irritated and yell back at them with an angry voice.  Children need to learn healthy ways to express emotions.  Some of us are still working on how to control our tempers!  And we are the adults!  Children need help with self regulating and appropriately showing emotions.  They will learn from us.

Mary Bartuske, Parent Educator

"Bad" Behavior Requires a Response, Not Corporal Punishment, But Something

A parent does not have to respond in a mean, angry way for a child to learn.  When we yell, scream, belittle, or hit, the child learns that adults can be mean and abusive.  Parents are role models. Children are watching and learning.  When a child does do something that is bad, a response is necessary but we don’t have to lose it.  The response should be reasonable, related to the bad behavior and respectful.  We don’t have to disrespect kids in order for them to learn good behavior. 

Mary Bartusek, Parent Educator

When Kids Feel Better, They Do Better

When are you at your best?  After a good nights sleep?  After a delicious meal?  After accomplishing an important task on your “to do” list?  When someone compliments you on your hard work, effort, promptness or reliability?  After an evening with friends filled with good conversation and laughter?  Finishing a really good book?  All of these things can make us feel better.  And when we feel better we do better:  we are happier, we are more fun to be around, we get things done, we are more willing to work with and help others, and it is the same for our children.  Make sure you are providing experiences that make your child feel good about themselves.  Positive thoughts and experiences fuel better behavior. We know that when kids feel better they do better.  It makes perfect sense!

Mary Bartusek, Parent Educator

There is No Mental Picture of Don't

I want you to close your eyes and picture the statement I say, or if you are reading this alone close your eyes after you read it.

“Don’t hit your sister.”

“Don’t climb on the chair.”

“Don’t color on the wall.”

“Don’t wiggle your toes.”

What did you picture in your head?  There is no mental picture of don’t.  You picture the action and doing.  Tell children what they should be doing.

-Mary Bartusek, Parent Educator